10 Things Wrong with the XOFL

Ogdensburg, NJ-- The league has played three games in what should have been the end of Week 3 on Sunday. The league was supposed to start 2 weeks ago, but Comissioner Joe Byrne pushed games back a week. Opening day was last Sunday, but only 6 teams showed up. This past week, Joe Byrne cancelled all games in the middle of the week, before I tried getting a few games in, but it was just too difficult after Byrne cancelled everything several days before. So with that, here are my Top 10 Things Wrong with the XOFL...

10. Overtime Rules: Why do teams need to complete 4 consecutive passes in order to get a first down, when in regulation it is only 2. I don't understand why these rules change once regulation time expires. Teams have trouble completing 2 out of 4 passes in regulation, why make them drive half the field without making one bad pass. It's the XOFL, kids are not going to drive half a field without an incompletion...It just doesn't happen.

9. The More People, The Better: Commissioner Byrne wants players to come and go for their games, not even watching the other games in the league. Why? The more people that are there the better. I understand if they are on your lawn causing trouble, but what harm are they doing if they just sit on the driveway, watching an XOFL game. I see none. It's important to have interest in the league and you forcing them to arrive 15 minutes before the game, and leave immediately after is ridiculous.

8. Game Atmosphere: This isn't directed so much towards the first game or two of the day, but the later games in the day have such a boring atmosphere around them. Players who played earlier games are not entertained and most of them are doing their best Walrus Impressions. Give the players something better to do then sit around on the field just tossing a football...Give them music or something to make the atmosphere a little better.

7. Game Scheduling: Why are games only played on Sunday? Allow games to be played on Saturdays as well...and once school ends, on Weekdays as well. We are not the NFL, we are kids who may have plans on weekends with family, or other recreational activities. Playing games on Monday-Friday would allow other players to make it on a more daily basis.

6. Give the Players Some Better Water: Why bother supplying a water jug at the XOFL games filled with water from a GARDEN HOSE. Why not just let the players drink straight out of the hose itself, instead of fooling them with water that taste like it comes straight out of the pool. The least you could do is give them water out of your kitchen sink.

5. Official Referees: Instead of having players ref and make calls that could later on help or hurt other teams playoff status, have an official referee who players can not argue with. Teddy Sanson, new staff writer, will be attending games on a weekly basis now and would love to serve as the league referee. Kids may not take Sanson seriously, but Teddy has a lot of football knowledge and would not favor any one team in the XOFL.

4. Game Subs: We should not allow a player who is currently on a team sub for another team in the league. This would eliminate possible Wenz brother swaps, which would have been the case in Week 2, if it was played. If a player on a team can not make a game, for whatever reason, the team needs to be penalized for it. A player out of the league will most likely not improve the team (and should not), but still give the team a chance to play the game.

3. Hey Commish, Stop Cancelling Games Because You Aren't Home: It's not right that Joe Byrne cancels an entire week because he is busy. He doesn't cancel a week when Travis Wenz can't make it, or Gil Tussey, or Jess Petronaci. Why is it different with Joe Byrne? He says it because everyone is on his lawn during games, but CO-COMMISIONER Frank Elmuccio (That's right Frank, your part Comissioner too), lives literally 50 feet away, across the spacious XOFL Field. If Joe Byrne can't make a week, the schedule must go on...we will get a sub for you.

2. Too Many Make Up Dates: We should be three weeks into the season, and we have only played 3 regular season games. It was Joe Byrne's fault for having so many weeks leading up to the season, before actually starting the league. We moved both Week 1 and Week 2 back a week, and we still haven't completed Week 1 entirely. Too many make up dates are hurting the league, and people are beginning to get a little frustrated.

1. The League Champs: With the exception of Xhevat Vukel, who has been showing up and is eager to play, the other two members of this team should be thrown out of the league. We have had 4 weeks of games and 1 XOFL Combine and both failed to show up to ANY of those. Steve Simmons and Eric Burns may come once, but this team is hurting the league. They missed Week 1, causing another team to sit out a week and have been nothing but bothersome to the league. Remove Simmons and Burns and add dedicated players who want to play the game. Possible candidates are Kenny Caruso and Tommy Curtis, both of who I've spoke to and want to join the league.