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Xtreme Ogdensburg Football League 2005

Team Walmart Preview

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Team Walmart
Don't look for much success out of this team

8. Team Walmart: Captain Rog Guild (3rd year), Rocky Tironi (3rd year) Jeremy Carter (3rd year)-- It's suprising how a team with all 3rd year players can be so bad...but that's what we have here with Team Walmart.  This team will not win many games, finishing in last place in the North Conference. Rog Guild is probably this team's best overall player, and that is not saying much at all, while Rocky Tironi is probably this team's best overall swimmer.  Whoever plays QB for Team Walmart, will have basically zero options to throw to.  Defensively this team is slow and will not stop any XOFL team during the season.

Team Quotes: "We probroably won't win many games, but we won't go down without a fight. Also, everyone might think we are going to be a weak team, and that maybe true, but we have speed...ROG GUILD."- Rocky Tironi

Opponent's Quotes: "I'm not seeing Team Wal*Mart winning many games this season behind the leadership of a swimmer.  Unless it floods and the game is not canceled, they wont win more than 3 games.  Guild wont be much of a factor due to his lack of speed, but he'l lead the team in TD's."- Brian Saxton, of F-9

"This team will not win one game all season. They are absolutly horrible. If it was a race in a pool Rocky Tironi would obviously demolish us all but its a football game so he is going to be just average. Rog Guild, although strong as an ox or someone who just threw up but swallowed it so it didnt come out and they have to go to the bathroom and brush their teeth cause its really gross, well that persons breath, isnt a deep threat and makes questionable decisions at quarterback when faced with pressure. Jerome Carter is going to be looked upon to lead this team and i dont think he can handle it. I would not be suprised that if by week three this team hasnt scored a touchdown and commishoner Byrne creates a new mercy rule just for this team. I would point out that they get the number one draft pick as an upside to the season but that would be a lie so basically this is gonna be rough."- Adam Bowlby, of the British Gentlemen

"When they play TLA vomit will cover the field... not from them working their asses off, but from the speactators actually being made sick to their stomachs."- Adam Bowlby, of the British Gentemen (again)

A few predictions: Rog Guild will throw for 30 Touchdowns, 18 of them going to Jeremy Carter.  Rocky Tironi will somehow have 12 TD catches this season, and this team will win 1 game.

Other News and Notes:  Well, Rocky Tironi swims. Enough Said.  And somehow Rog Guild is in the Hall of Fame ahead of XOFL greats like Adam Bowlby and Travis Wenz.  The XOFL  Hall of Fame needs to reconsider who gets inducted and who gets snubbed.

Record Prediction: 1-9, 4th in NorthConference

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