8. Team Walmart: Captain Rog Guild (3rd year), Rocky Tironi (3rd year) Jeremy Carter (3rd year)--
It's suprising how a team with all 3rd year players can be so bad...but that's what we have here with Team Walmart.
This team will not win many games, finishing in last place in the North Conference. Rog Guild is probably this team's
best overall player, and that is not saying much at all, while Rocky Tironi is probably this team's best overall swimmer. Whoever
plays QB for Team Walmart, will have basically zero options to throw to. Defensively this team is slow and will not
stop any XOFL team during the season.
Team Quotes: "We probroably won't win many games, but we won't go down without a fight. Also, everyone
might think we are going to be a weak team, and that maybe true, but we have speed...ROG GUILD."- Rocky Tironi
Opponent's Quotes: "I'm not seeing Team Wal*Mart winning many games this season behind the leadership
of a swimmer. Unless it floods and the game is not canceled, they wont win more than 3 games. Guild wont be much
of a factor due to his lack of speed, but he'l lead the team in TD's."- Brian Saxton, of F-9
"This team will not win one game all season. They are absolutly horrible. If it was a race in a pool Rocky Tironi would
obviously demolish us all but its a football game so he is going to be just average. Rog Guild, although strong as an ox or
someone who just threw up but swallowed it so it didnt come out and they have to go to the bathroom and brush their teeth
cause its really gross, well that persons breath, isnt a deep threat and makes questionable decisions at quarterback when
faced with pressure. Jerome Carter is going to be looked upon to lead this team and i dont think he can handle it. I would
not be suprised that if by week three this team hasnt scored a touchdown and commishoner Byrne creates a new mercy rule just
for this team. I would point out that they get the number one draft pick as an upside to the season but that would be a lie
so basically this is gonna be rough."- Adam Bowlby, of the British Gentlemen
"When they play TLA vomit will cover the field... not from them working their asses off, but from the speactators actually
being made sick to their stomachs."- Adam Bowlby, of the British Gentemen (again)
A few predictions: Rog Guild will throw for 30 Touchdowns, 18 of them going to Jeremy Carter. Rocky
Tironi will somehow have 12 TD catches this season, and this team will win 1 game.
Other News and Notes: Well, Rocky Tironi swims. Enough Said. And somehow Rog Guild is in the
Hall of Fame ahead of XOFL greats like Adam Bowlby and Travis Wenz. The XOFL Hall of Fame needs to reconsider
who gets inducted and who gets snubbed.
Record Prediction: 1-9, 4th in NorthConference